I'm at a point where everything I draw is unappealing to me, I hate it and I feel like I'm not improving and that I'm not learning fast enough. I'm procrastinating on my life and my life plans. I can't find it in me to draw and when I do, u end up hating it because nothing I do ever satisfys the concept I have in my brain and I just give up.

I think I'm gonna continue to be away while I continue with school art classes and I continue with independent learning via books. I'm taking a commercial art class this and senior year so that's pretty good, I'm also continuing with my art class so I'm gonna be at art portfolio this year and then I'll be at ap art portfolio.

I have done nothing this summer but loath in my bed sleeping away the months, playing videogames, working when I'm scheduled to work. I can't break this cycle and it's really really making me upset but I don't have the mental strength to do it.

I have all of these big ambitions and dreams in my heart of becoming an animator to fulfill my dream of making the same things that made me smile as a kid but my mental fortitude is just screwing me around every corner. Hell, while I'm writing this I'm still in my bed after being awake for 20 minutes, running on 5 hours of sleep and my adhd medication.

I just need to figure everything out, the next time I post any art is probably gonna be when teen art rolls around again in like January so I guess prepare for that.

You know, maybe being a online artist was just a thing I wanted to do because I was bored during covid, I found comfort doing art while I was bored on my virtual classes. But when school went back to in person I found I just don't have the time or the power to do anything. All my time is already sold either to school, sleep, or work and I have no time for art or anything like that. And when I do I just pick sleep so I'm able to get at least some rest in.

I don't know maybe I'm just over complicating things to much and I just need to better myself mentally and physically.

Thats all for this post but like I said, don't expect much from me until whenever. And if I don't post again then I probably just never brought myself to act on my words and I gave up.